BY Hungry Harold Hughes
1. Fine Fescues: It does not do well in heat or traffic, so it should be easily digestible, and it grows nice and long. Delicious!
2. Wheatgrass: It has a nice texture and doesn’t require much watering, plus it has the word “wheat” in it so it must be healthy. Yum!
3. Blue Gramagrass: You get a lot of bang for your buck with this hardy grass that can grow up to 15 inches if left unmowed! Tasty!
4. Centipede Grass: It is coarse-textured, but you know you’ll digest this easily damaged grass with ease. Just watch out for those fucking centipedes that shit all over the grass. Delightful!
5. Zoysia Grass: Easily the worst kind of grass. Only grows to like an inch high, has all different kinds of weird textures, and has a stupid ass name. But it still does the trick in a pinch. Sensational!