LADIES WANT WHAT IS IN MY PANTS

BY Sawyer

asAgainst all reason, man buns are a desirable thing to have now, but I accept it. As a man with a pair of ample buttocks, I am flattered.

There’s no avoiding the signs that permeate popular culture nowadays. Jake Gyllenhaal, Bradley Cooper, and Leonardo DiCaprio have their asses plastered across tabloids for their man buns. Women may seem to be attracted to shredded abs and bulging arms, but this proves they would rather have a man with impressive junk… in the trunk.

Having always been self-conscious of my protrusive posterior, I want to thank the ladies for approving of donks such as mine. I’ve noticed girls smiling approvingly at the bulge in my pants as we pass and I notice them smiling even more once they’ve looked back.

I’ve got man bun and I want to flaunt it. Slacks aren’t form-fitting enough, so I’ve moved onward to Lulu Lemons and leggings.

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