Coach that Always has the Most Talented Team Considered Great

BY Rebellious John Clayton

"OH NO! We Only Got Nine of the Top Ten Recruits!"     A pensive Nick Saban chows down on some Nutter Butters ™ while reviewing the latest recruiting class information on Rivals.com. Saban should not pout for long though, as he has pending Coach of the Year awards to collect thanks to the achievements of his players
“OH NO! We Only Got Nine of the Top Ten Recruits!”
A pensive Nick Saban chows down on some Nutter Butters ™ while reviewing the latest recruiting class information on Rivals.com. Saban should not pout for long though, as he has pending Coach of the Year awards to collect thanks to the achievements of his players

Columbus, OH— Often American sports culture is depicted as one that always roots for the underdog. This tends not to hold true in college football, where the rich get richer when powerhouse schools like Alabama or Ohio State consistently get the most talented players in the world trying to join their teams.

Sports fans are quick to look for someone to pin either success or failure on, and college football coaches in particular receive a lot of attention even though the talent level of players is more likely to impact a game than a coach. So when Nick Saban, one of the most decorated coaches in history received his eight million dollar annual payday from The University of Alabama, even he was a bit surprised.

“You kiddin’ me? No one deserves eight million dollars to yell at kids all day,” Saban expressed with honesty. “Anyone could remain near the top of rankings when you consistently get a recruiting class ranked near the top in the country every single year. That’s just obvious to me.

I even proved I’m not a great coach when I completely tanked as the Dolphins coach before bolting for Sweet Home Alabama. We were fucking terrible because the team was bad and I wasn’t about to magically make everyone on the team talented. Luckily at Alabama I don’t need magic because the best football players in the country flock to me.”

Ohio State head coach Urban Meyer shared similar sentiments when a reporter asked him if he felt like he had single handedly rebuilt the Ohio State dynasty.

“What? Jesus, no, absolutely not. What the hell did I do?” asked Meyer. “Every year a bunch of winners join our program and then all of a sudden I get credit for it when they do exactly what they always do, which is win.”

Coaches know the players are the reason we make millions. Too bad they won’t pay ’em.”

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