Little Known Frat Disorders

BY Randy Butternubs

Swole Anxiety Disorder – Responding to one’s own lack of sufficient gains with feelings of fear and panic that the $120 whey protein may not be working.

Post Thursday Smashed Disorder – Chronic inability to go out to bars on a Friday night because that total pussy got too hungover.

Ornithia Nervosa – Fearful tendency that one’s buffalo wings need increasingly more sriracha.

Antisocial Benching Disorder – Having little concern for others waiting to get their lifting in after you on the bench. I mean, c’mon bro!

Syphophrenia – Grandeur belief that no woman will have sex with you because they think they aren’t good enough for you, when in reality, it’s because you are obviously infected with syphilis.

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