Jordan Spieth wishes girls cared more about his Personality

BY Rebellious John Clayton

"Let's talk feelings"    Spieth fakes a smile with his tri-delt girlfriend. Apparently, she doesn't even know his major.
“Let’s talk feelings”
Spieth fakes a smile with his tri-delt girlfriend. Apparently, she doesn’t even know his major.

DALLAS— Jordan Spieth catapulted himself from a bright prospect as a twenty-year-old pro to Master’s champion in the span of one year. His score of 18 under par at Augusta National ties the Master’s Record for the best score ever and solidifies his climb to number two in the world golf rankings.

As a college student at The University of Texas, Spieth has risen from an unknown member of the golf team to local hero and finally to a full-blown celebrity. In a college atmosphere filled with attractive young women, it seems obvious that Spieth would be flourishing socially and romantically. What is not obvious is the fact that Spieth is disappointed that so many beautiful young women are constantly trying to have sex with him without first striking a conversation.

“Yeah man, it’s demeaning honestly,” a visibly exhausted Spieth told a reporter after winning The 57th Masters. “I mean, all I want is for a girl to love me for my personality, not my good looks, great family pedigree, millions of dollars, or highly-marketable golf career. Is that so much to ask?”

“Fuck that dude!” frustrated Texas Junior Josh Markovnikov told reporters. “Plenty of girls like me for my personality; that’s called the friendzone. I’d kill to be in his position.”

Before Spieth could finish his sentence, several outrageously attractive, scantily clad women jumped on top of him. Spieth rolled over to dodge them, sighed, dusted off his Green Jacket, and walked away solemnly marketable golf career. Is that so much to ask?”

“Fuck that dude!” frustrated Texas Junior Josh Markovnikov told reporters. “Plenty of girls like me for my personality; that’s called the friendzone. I’d kill to be in his position.”
Before Spieth could finish his sentence, several outrageously attractive, scantily clad women jumped on top of him. Spieth rolled over to dodge them, sighed, dusted off his Green Jacket, and walked away solemnly.

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