BY SCOTTY TAYP
A few weeks ago I took this one girl out, and I was the ultimate gentleman. I even told her how nice she looked since she started waxing her mustache.
Another time, I told this girl that she was wearing too much makeup and informed her that we nice guys think wearing too much makes you look like a whore.
Instead of thanking me, she told me to go fuck myself, which I didn’t understand because I was just giving her some much needed advice.
But hey, if she wants to walk around looking like a whore, then fine, I don’t care. Clearly she was just a fucking bitch anyway.
I just don’t understand why girls ignore the genuinely nice and caring guys– like me– and go for the jerks.
I have done so many nice things for the girls that I meet. I take them out to expensive dinners and pay for everything. I buy them lots of really nice gifts. Hell, I have even taken care of girls who were completely wasted, and instead of taking advantage of them like any other guy would, I took them home. Don’t I get brownie points for that?
I never get anything in return. Sure I get a thank you, but how about letting me get to second base? I mean, isn’t that the least a girl could do for a good guy?
If I stop myself from sleeping with you when you’re drunk, the least you can do is offer yourself to me when you’re sober. It’s only fair.
Even after all I do and have done, I still don’t have a girlfriend. Maybe it’s because women are ungrateful bitches who don’t know a good thing when they see it.
Anyway, if any girl out there is interested in going out with me, just email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I love all women so anyone is welcome to hit me up.
Unless you’re slutty, nice guys hate sluts.