Volume XLIX Issue I
BY GRIND ALL: OUR KINDA OK SEXPERT
With the new term starting the same thing is on everyone’s minds, who the hell am I fucking this semester? When trying to find a suitable fuck buddy there are many routes but the most promising one for sure is the social app tinder. Here are 5 tips to enhance your tinder game
1. First picture is a selfie. Second picture is half naked picture at the beach. Third picture is you with a pretty person of the opposite sex (hey they liked it so you might?). Fourth is dressed up. Fifth is with your dog or your mom.
2. Throw in a quote like “dreamers never die” or a Taylor Swift lyric to show your sensitive side. “I’ve got a blank space baby and I’ll write your name”… That chick is the master of getting laid and you know why? It’s because that shit is Gold!
3. Throw in some reviews from past hook ups. People need to know that they are in for a good fuck sesh
4. Start every conversation with a cool pick up line. Try “Are you ice cream because I want to spoon you”. No matter who it is they’ll appreciate your hard work in using google for something other than porn.
5. Fuck that literally just say “aye babe wanna fuck?” right to the point. You’ll get a yes or no and won’t have to fuck around with the annoying “But I just wanna talk!” hoes.
And remember, don’t trust Jesus, wrap your penis