Construction on Douglass Decried as Sexist

Volume XLVIII Issue VIII


“LET'S HIRE THE ARCHITECT OF QATAR'S SOCCER STADIUM” Penis-shaped buildings are being erected way to often.
Penis-shaped buildings are being erected way to often.

NEW BRUNSWICK—The on­going construction efforts on Douglass Campus have been halted due to ongoing protests by the feminist community.

”Women have a hard enough time as is being bar­raged with phallic objects in our society” said spokeswoman Lori Burham, a second year Feminist Theory major explaining the issue.

“Douglass campus is mostly made up of low to the ground buildings surrounded by plenty of bushes,” Burham continued. “But new construction is given rise to taller and more penis-like buildings than Douglass resi­dents are comfortable with.”

Protesters say that they are fearful that male students will take the new tall structures as a sign to start “taking their man-identifying penises out of their pants and start raping every­one.”

Alternative structures are being presented. “We were thinking some sort of court­yard, or other hollow box-like structure,” says Betty Dottry 22. “Even a large well would be great.”

But a counter-protest is al­ready gaining ground from local Men’s Rights Activist groups. As one member, Doug Pember­ly, 21, says, “For too long this Women’s College has been en­croached by buildings which ca­ter to the female gender. It’s time to give the men a chance.”

Steps have already been tak­en by the feminist protest groups to halt any further addition to the height of any buildings. Five online petitions are reportedly already circulating Tumblr, and there is word that the group is selling menstrual cup cozies on Etsy to raise funds.

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