Volume XLVIII Issue X

The other day a friend of mine told me about this thing called the “internet.” She showed me some pictuers of cats, so I guess that was cool, but like, everywhere I looked there were dicks. Like, literally and figuratively, just dicks as far as the eye can see. Someone once told me to cut off my own foreskin, tie it into a noose, drink a gallon of bleach and then hang myself with it while he fucked my mother, sister, and grandmother. My grand­mother is dead, so that was particularly upsetting. But then I went back to the cat videos, so I guess it got better from there.

Overall I’d rate the internet:


There was some good stuff and some bad stuff. Also stuff that made me question humanity. And myself. And who my mother is having sex with.

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