Volume XLVIII Issue VII
BY THE BUS KID: T–SHIRT GUY
Kobane Hill, Syria – In this week’s adventure we are taken to the Turkish border where our hero, Robert Barchi, has joined in battling the evil clutches of ISIS. Armed with his bravery, Barchi charges into the heat of combat. With a puff of smoke from his cigarette, an explosion suddenly lets off. As smoke fills the air, it seems the Rutgers President has been thrown to the ground. However, Barchi is not deterred, for he knows that if he quits now, all hope is lost.
Just as the tobacco smoke escapes his lips, a devilish scream ripples through the air as a crazed terrorist comes from an alleyway, charging with a large dagger. For most, it would seem they had met their end with this madman. Unfortunately for this pawn however, Barchi is no normal man. Our hero’s swift reflexes get the best of his enemy as he quickly swivels out of the dagger’s reach. In return, Barchi flashes out his machete and slices at the throat of the madman. In an ironic twist, Robert Barchi beheads the ISIS combatant.
As the body slumps into the ground and the head rolls around with a bloody splatter, it seems Barchi’s courage has won the battle. Sun rays weave their way through the smoke of the battle, shining upon our victorious champion. Placing his machete at his side once more, the triumphant Barchi lifts his rifle and wanders off into the circling dust, not one to stay in the spotlight longer than needed. Join us next time in “Where In The World Is Barchi?”