Volume XLVIII Issue III
BY FEMINIST-MARXIST: STAFF WRITER
NEW YORK CITY – Harry Potter star Emma Watson gave a speech on September 20th about feminism and introduced her new initiative #HeForShe at the United Nations. The British actress began her fight for women’s rights by quoting Dumbledore: “[Feminism is] the belief that witches and wizards should have equal rights and opportunities. It is the theory of the political, economic and social equality of the sexes.”
After masterfully deceiving the UN Women’s Committee that her priorities lie in the right place, the real reason behind Ms. Watson’s involvement surfaced in the speech. She burst out: “I wanted to be Harry Potter!,” suddenly waking up everyone that was falling asleep.
Albeit, Watson’s task was not easy. Speaking about women who are stoned to death for surviving rape or the practices of genital mutilation, her struggle not to call out any country by name was real. This was exasperated by the fact that all countries in the world are members of the UN.
But not everyone was akin to Watson’s speech; an anonymous hacker group threatened to publish her nude photos online. And we all thought Watson was doing so well in not joining Justin Bieber or Miley Cyrus in the Child Stars Gone Wild club. Watson might want to consider using magic to fix gender equality, because we all know muggles are incapable of that sort of thing.